Living the Dream

So, I don't have time to tell the whole story, but I'm no longer unemployed or homeless. I'm pretty much living my dream.  I think this poster speaks a lot to where I am right now:

Just a Reminder

My last post from just a few days ago was all about being content with this time of transition.  Well, the logic of contentment that I know in my head hasn't quite made it to my heart.  Today was a tough day, to say the least.

But, once again, God has a great way of showing up.  Tonight, He did it in this:

The Lord your God is with you,
He is might to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

The same God who was powerful enough to change these people's circumstances is the same God who lives in me and is working daily for my good.

I don't know yet what the back of my cardboard will say, but I know there will be something worth writing.

When you walk to the edge of all the light...

Happy 4th of July!! This is the time of year to celebrate the freedom that we have been granted, but, as the slideshow at church this morning reminded me, that freedom can only truly be found one way - in the shadow of Christ on the cross.

John 8:36 - So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

Acts 13:39 - Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin

Romans 6:6-7 - For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin - because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.

Romans 6:18 - You have been set free from sin

Romans 8:1 - Through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free

Romans 8:20-21 - For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 

2 Corinthians 3:17 - Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

Galatians 5:1 - It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

Galatians 5:13 - You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free.

Hebrews 9:15 - For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.

1 Peter 2:16 - Live as free people.

Revelation 1:5 - To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood.

Praise God for freedom, but it is not this that I am celebrating today.  There is something else that is saturating my life right now, finding its way into every nook and cranny, spilling into every crevice, consuming every waking moment, steering every thought, guiding every conversation, setting the course of every day...

Faith.  

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Heb 11:1 ESV), our handle on what we can't see (Heb 11:1 The Message), a firm belief in something for which there is no proof, complete trust (Merriam-Webster).  Lebenese American writer, Khalil Gibran, says it this way: "Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.” Oswald Chambers, who wrote My Utmost for His Highest, states that faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.  The picture of faith that rings truest to me is this one by Patrick Overton:  

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen: 

There will be something solid for you to stand  upon, 

or you will be taught how to fly.

In this time of transition, I currently have no job, which means no source of income, little independence, and constant searching.  No house, no mailing address.  For the first time ever, my mail is collecting in a PO Box.  Most of my belongings are packed in boxes sitting in a 10'x10' cube at the nearest Public Storage.   I have no space that is just mine, nowhere to relax without worrying about being an inconvenience  I am relying on the goodness of a friend for somewhere to sleep and somewhere to spend some of the plethora of free time I have found.  

But the biggest absence in my life right now is the knowledge of where I am headed, where I'll land, what's in store for me as soon as tomorrow.  My immediate future is incredibly unclear.  Not just unclear, it's like a solid veil I can't see through.  Darkness...

However, in the midst of all the unknown, the greatest part is that I know that there will be something to stand on.  I will learn how to fly.  This is the first time in my life where I've had absolutely nothing to depend on but my belief that God will come through.  And I am totally content in that.  I am not scared, not worried, not wondering because I know that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, from now to eternity that my God is faithful 100% of the time.  I don't know where I'm going or how to get there, but I know wherever it is and whatever path I take it is what God has always planned for me.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:6

And it will be exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Praise God for the family and church I grew up in and all my experiences to this point that added to my foundation, instilled and inspired my faith and prepared me for this moment, praise Him for His grace in allowing me to place my faith in Him, and praise God for being forever true to every facet of His character.

Somewhere there is an explosion of light at the end of this tunnel!

I Will Wait for You

A great poem...

from a great website: www.p4cm.com

Waiting...

It's amazing how when I take the time to really dive into the Word God is faithful to show me that He always has something new to teach me that is just what I need at that moment.

Tuesday, I had the privilege to do a phone interview for a position as an assistant athletic trainer for the football team at a yet undisclosed SEC university.  Now, throughout this whole job search process, I have been reminding myself that God has this all under control.  He did not bring me this far to leave me here. 

But...somehow I forgot all about this when I was contacted about this interview.  So for the few days in between scheduling the interview and actually completing it, I was nervous.  Continually thinking about what a great gig this would be. How it could set me up for everything I want to do professionally.  That it would ease my mind to have a job in place.  Being able to say I was a 25-yr-old assistant athletic trainer in the SEC (Humility is one of my strong points. Can't you tell?)  However, God had something to say about this on Sunday, when He reminded me through some song at church that He is still sovereign and as long as I do my best, He'll do the rest.  It might not be this job, but it will be what I need.

Fast forward to Tuesday.  The interview went perfectly fine, and they told me that they would discuss the candidates (there are only seven of us) and bring people on campus for another interview over the next 1-2 weeks.

So now...I just wait.  While waiting, I am continually trying to figure out their process -  guessing when and how they are going to proceed -  figuring that if I don't get a call my Monday I'm definitely not their first choice and may never get a call.  I have never been a patient person, and this especially is not easy to wait for.

But, once again, God shows up. Gosh, He's so good at that.  It's like He planned this whole thing or something. 

My Bible reading this morning is Exodus 36-40.  It is about preparing the items for the first tabernacle.  All of these things were made by one man...Bezalel.  Because of this, it must have taken FOREVER!  There were a lot of things to make and, I mean, this was where God was gonna dwell so you know they had to be perfect.  I can imagine the Israelites jut sitting there twiddling their thumbs waiting for all this to be finished.  That's when it occurred to me that this isn't the first time, nor would it be the last time, that the Israelites had to wait.

God has been teaching His people to wait from the beginning of time!  He said wait for me to save you from slavery; wait for me to part the Red Sea; wait for me to give you food and water; wait for the building of my tabernacle; wait in the desert for 40 years until I reveal the Promised Land to you; wait for your Messiah; and WAIT three days and it will all make sense!  Even now, He says believe in Me, serve Me and wait and one day you will see My face.

I know I'm hard headed, but when confronted with this many examples, I have no choice but to settle in and prepare for the waiting.  He has proven too many times that in the end, He knows best, His timing is perfect and His plan will ALWAYS be fulfilled just the way He planned it.

So still...I just wait.

My First Trip to the Ship

As I'm sitting in my three hour class, I realized that I have yet to share the most exciting happening in my work life this year!  Saturday March 5, I spent practically the entire day at Colonial Life Arena helping both my boys and girls basketball teams prepare to play in the state championship.  We were one of only a few schools from which both teams made it to the finals.

The girls played first, and they played great.  We took the Timberland Wolves to overtime but were bested in the extra period and lost 55-48.  It was a very intense game.  The girls were obviously upset, and I with them, but they had a fantastic season!  Entering the playoffs as a three seed, we beat two number one seeds on our way to being the only three seed to play for the state championship.

 

I had to add this picture because it was my contribution to The State newspaper on Sunday, March 6. Flattering, I know.

Read the article from the game here.

Thankfully, after the girl's game, there was a still a chance to leave the arena with a win.  My boys were playing for their second consecutive state championship, fourth under Coach Norris and sixth in program history. Coach Norris had these shirts made just to remind everybody:

 Well, win we did.  My boys held the lead the whole game until 44 seconds left in the third quarter, but then went on a 19-4 run to finish with a 56-50 victory over Mullins and prove that their number one season long ranking was well deserved!  This was the banner picture on the front page of The State newpaper on Sunday:

Read the article here.

So, finally, I'm a state champion. Last week, I tried on sample rings to find the best fit for the huge gold ring coming my way in the next few months.  And, apparently, the Celtics' Ray Allen is buying us state championship jackets.  I don't know what they are gonna look like, but hey, if an NBA player is buying them, they can't be that bad...

Lent...

Today starts the season of Lent.  I never really understood Lent. Then, all of a sudden a few years ago people close to me, friends, family, etc. started giving up things until Easter.  I wasn't really into this but didn't want to feel like I was just ignoring God if He really wanted me to give something up so last year I did a little research and this year I read a little more. 

This is what I've decided - Lent is a time of remembrance. A time of reflection of the path our Savior took to the cross. People often give things up as a concrete reminder of the sacrifice He paid for us.  A time to reconnect with God. To remember His pain.

So for me, I'm going to do what I did last year.  I'm going to spend Lent reflecting on and reminding myself of the Easter story - the story of Jesus' choice and His crucifixion, the story of my redemption and the world's salvation.

I'm going to read again John Piper's Fifty Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die. One reason per day (with a few days of two so I can make 50 reasons equal 40 days).

And then Easter weekend, I will watch The Passion of the Christ.

 Not because I enjoy watching a dramatization of the Father's wrath raging against His Son, the only One who never did anything to deserve it, but so I am reminded of the whole story - not simply the joy of Easter morning, but the devastation of Calvary and the heartache of waiting in between.

Because this is who I am, this is where I come from, this is my story.  To lose the knowledge and reality of these days and these moments is to lose myself.



Great blog post about Lent: http://www.lifeingraceblog.com/2011/03/lent-for-the-newcomer-learning-from-my-father.html

Best thing I've heard in awhile...

Many of you might not know this about me, but I love rap music!  I think it has something to do with the environment in which I work.  Sixty-something guys all working out in the weight room with out the speakers blaring with ear-splitting beats, hooks and rhymes just doesn't seem right.  So rap reminds of a job that I love to do, an environment I love to work in, and kids I love to hang out with and you have to admit the beats are catchy and get you up and going.

Even with all that said, there is a major downfall of rap music...the lyrics.  Some songs I can handle.  Others are awful and downright nasty, laced with profanity and dripping with references to drugs and sex, especially sex.  That is not exactly want I want running through my head the rest of the day.

This is where Lecrae comes in.  I am constantly amazed at the way God works.  Lecrae is a rapper but all of his lyrics reflect his relationship with Jesus Christ. He has been around for awhile but I continuously wrote him off assuming his lyrics would be cheesy and the music wouldn't be quality rap.  His name came up again this January when I saw a video of him performing live at Passion 2011 in Atlanta.  A few days later my brother-in-law tweeted about Lecrae's new album being the #1 downloaded hip hop album on Itunes, above Kanye West's new album.

All of this was occurring at the same time that life was sending me down a road I wasn't sure I liked.  I attributed alot of my struggling to the environment I was in, partly by necessity due to my job partly by my own choice. Rap music was definitely one of the parts of this environment.

After reading my bro-in-law's tweet, I decided it was time to find out what this guy was all about.  I downloaded Lecrae's last three albums:

2008

"Rebel is a redefinition. Not only of the word rebel, but of how many of us view the christian life. Rebel rejects the notion that being a Christian means a passive approach to our theology and an undedicated lifestyle. The definitions of what we believe and value affect how we live in our short time on this earth."

2010

"Anger, depression, addiction, and discontentment: just a few of the ills that plaque many a man.  The solutions: join a group, read a book, basically, YOU can win this battle!  

But what about the war?  In solely attacking the behaviors or the external problems in our lives the origin of our issues is overlooked.  Essentially, we try to alter effects, instead of exploring and tackling the cause. Some don’t realize the root of their problems is internal, in fact spiritual. Others recognize, but underestimate how serious their problems are. And even still, as believers, we trust in ourselves to overcome by our own strength."

2011

"Around every corner is the lure to consume--a desire to be satisfied.  We lose ourselves in money, status, power and whatever else we can get our hands on.  But no human being has found anything under the sun that brings lasting satisfaction. So, we consume more and more and more.  Eventually, we overdose and death seems imminent.  But there is hope!  If Christianity is our rehab, in Jesus, satisfaction can be found. Grace, love, peace and hope can be found and there is always more."

This guy is legit!!  God has the BEST answer for all your problems, even when it comes to something as small as your affinity for rap music.

A couple songs that are making major impact on my life right now:

A few more words of truth:

Lust, pride, hate, death running through our blood

Need a blood donor, need a transfusion

He’s over hanging on the cross for your substitution

     - Divine Intervention, Rehab

You said you came for the lame,

I’m the lamest

I made a mess you say you’ll erase it,

I’ll take it

You said you came for the lame,

I’m the lamest

I broke my life, but you say you’ll replace it,

I’ll take it. - Just Like You, Rehab

You know I need you like aqua,

Day without ya got me so nauseous...

...But I’m so insecure I can’t believe that you want me

But then I heard you went on your way to adopt me

     - Gotta Know, Rehab

I, without the cross there’s only condemnation.

If Jesus wasn’t executed there’s no celebration.

So in times that are good, in times that are bad

For any times that I’ve had it all I will be glad.

and I will boast in the cross. I boast in my pains.

I will boast in the sonshine, boast in his reign.

What’s my life if it’s not praising you. - Boasting, Rehab

See he remembers the first day that he made you

Mouldin’ your lungs full of breath that he gave you

Not too mention the day he saved you

Or when he opened your eyes by the Spirit Christ was raised through

Did I mention that he forgave you

And had his flesh ripped off for the sin you was enslaved to

     - New Reality, Rehab

And when I said I do, I meant that

Its trip that, you let me lead you

Cause I’m a mess and sometimes I need you

     - I Love You, Rehab

matter fact better than I know I got Christ

if you don’t’ see His ways in my days and nights

you can hit my brakes you can stop my lights

man I lost my rights

lost my life - Don't Waste Your Life, Rebel

If U didn’t know Christ would ya life look the same

Can they tell you value Jesus by the way you rep his name?

man what’s the point of living if Im living for myself

Lord empty out my life before I put you on the shelf

     - Go Hard, Rebel

But then he got saved, he wanna preach Christ

They make him change his culture his whole way of life

He gotta get him a bachelor’s wear him a suit and tie

Go to seminary or all his boys will die

Jesus came to invade culture outta Nazareth and he used a couple fisherman that people saw as hazardous

The feet are beautiful if only they’d go

Ain’t nobody in the hood preachin how will they know?

See Eric is better usin the truths in the context

Somebody please plant a church in his projects

     - Beautiful Feet, Rebel

For another look at Jesus and rap music, check out 'Lil Wayne and Regeneration' on benterry.com.

Thanks to Simply Blog It Backgrounds for the new background!!

Snow and Such

When I decided to begin this blog as part of my New Years Resolutions, I didn't want to commit to posting every day or every week or whatever because I wasn't sure how this was going to work.  Now, I am glad I didn't commit to that because obviously I would be a major failure already. 

Tonight, I don't feel like being significantly deep or thought-provoking so here are just a few random happenings from life lately:

The winter storm that hit the nation this week definitely did not miss Columbia.  Apparently, Columbia does not get snow very often.  If I remember correctly, before last year, there hadn't been snow for 13 years, but since I've been here its an annual occurrence. Here is the view outside my bedroom window Monday morning:

 I think we wound up getting about 4 inches.  The city pretty much shut down on Monday.  I haven't had to go to work yet this week, and my one class of the semester was canceled on Tuesday.  So, have had a lazy few days.  I did manage to get to the gym to run yesterday and did a little cooking today (more on that shortly).

Along with the fun, excitement and beauty of snow comes icy roads and dangerous driving conditions.  All the Columbia news stations kept reporting how many collisions the Highway Patrol was responding to. The number seemed to increase my hundreds every hour.  Unfortunately, last night, one of my friends became a victim to the slick streets:

Thankfully, he is ok just a little sore from the impact.  Last night, for the first time in a while, I was extremely thankful to God to be able to give back to someone, to be there to help someone when they really needed me.  Thankful for the privilege of being a friend.

Since I was going a stir crazy from being in the house so long, I decided to be a little domestic.  For dinner, I cooked chili in the crockpot from a recipe I found on the Food Network.  The chili actually turned out really good.  The cheddar bowls that the chili was supposed to go in - not so much.  I followed the recipe, but they came out so little.  I would've only been able to fit two spoonfuls in each bowl.  Needless to say, we ate out of regular bowls instead. Overall, dinner was a success.  Try it out. 

While the chili was cooking, I did a little baking.  I can't remember the first time I had Holiday Pretzel Treats, but I'm sure they were something Mom made for us one Christmas.  When I got older and started helping with the holiday baking (last year), I realized how easy they are to make.  Because of this, I'm quite confident their assembly will be an annual event.  This year, I decided to make some for my kids at school.  It was a huge success, so much so that they continually ask if I have made anymore.  Tomorrow will be their lucky day.  Don't they look so fun!

Speaking of my kids at school, I haven't seen them in four whole days.  I think I'm going through withdrawal.  Here are a few pictures to celebrate me going back to work tomorrow!

Gucci

My sweet team sweatsuit!!

Eric - my point guard. 2011 Region 2A Player of the Year. Committed to Presbyterian College.

2011 Taco Bell Holiday Classic Champions

Did I mention they are defending state champions as well?!

I think that is enough ramblings for tonight.  I'm not really enjoying the look of this blog so watch out for changes soon.  And I've been listening to some great new music lately that I need to share.

Somewhere where?

Just in case any of you were wondering (and even if you weren't), I thought I would explain where the name of my blog came from.  Check out these lyrics: 

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle

These words compose the song "Somewhere in the Middle" sung by the Christian recording group Casting Crowns, but they are words that resound in my heart almost everyday.  They describe a very true reality that has the potential to turn into a constant struggle.

I feel like Paul was describing my life in Romans 7:15-24.

      ¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
 ²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?

But even in the midst of this struggle, there is a rescuer!  If it was true in Paul's day, I believe it remains true today.  Romans 7:25.
     ²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So here I am...somewhere in the middle...but not just caught between God's desires and my desires.  This blog title was so appropriate because it describes some aspect of the three things that are most important to me in life right now. Not only does it relate to my faith, but also my family and my career.

Yes, I am a middle child.  My guidance-counselor dad says I am a typical middle child.  When people find out my place in the birth order, they say, "Hmm. That explains it."  I don't what all that means, but I guess it is part of who I am - caught in the middle.

Finding myself caught in the middle concerning my career is somewhat harder to explain.  In May, I get to make the decision where I want to begin my career.  This is a huge decision, and there are so many options.  Literally, I could be in any place or at any level that I choose to be.  This decision is where I get caught.  I am stuck in the middle between shooting for the stars (which for me would be Division 1 football or the NFL) where I might fall or being content with earth (high school, clinic or small college) where I know I'll be safe.  Once again, caught.

Happy New Years!

The tradition of setting New Years' resolutions dates all the way back to the early Roman Empire.  The Romans believed that one of their mythological kings, Janus, had two faces and could therefore see both backwards into the old year and forwards into the new year.  They offered gifts to Janus in hopes that he would forgive them of their trespasses from the previous year and help them achieve their goals in the coming year.  Even after the mythical element involving King Janus was removed from the celebration of the New Year, the tradition of setting goals for the New Year remained.

For the last few years, I have not been in the habit of making resolutions because I can never seem to keep them, but this year I am going to try again. This blog is my first attempt.  Although I have already failed somewhat because I'm starting one day late, but I figure I have the whole year to make up for it.

Now, I am nowhere near the writers that both of my sisters are and this blog will probably turn out to simply be documentation of my senseless ramblings, but I have a few reasons for wanting to write:

#1: I foresee a lot of substantial changes occurring in my life this year that might be worth recording.  This May, I am graduating with my masters degree in athletic training from the University of South Carolina, following which, hopefully, I will be gainfully employed.  This first official full-time athletic training job will most definitely have an impact on the direction of the course set for the rest of my life.  This is a beginning I would like to remember.

#2: It would be both arrogant and stupid of me to believe that the changes of the next year will be purely coincidental, just a picture of my destiny or the result of my stunning ability to wow potential future employers with my incredible brilliance, uncomparable skill set, and a resume that is second-to-none.  Instead, I am very much aware that my future and the course of my life has always been and will forever be set, put in motion and one day brought to completion by the One who began it.

          "All the days ordained for me were written in Your

                   book before one of them came to be."

                                    Psalm 139:16

I pray that whatever happens in this next year I will remember what my mom and dad always said, "Remember who you are and whose you are."  I am a child of God and I belong to Him.  May this year be full of moments, hours, weeks and months when I allow Him to use me to bring all glory to Himself and may this blog be a reflection of that glory.

#3: I always have something to say.  I may not always say it (though most of the time I do), but I always have something to say.  This blog is my outlet.  I know I won't get many responses or comments after expressing my opinion.  There might not even be anyone who reads it.  But I will have said it.  It will be off my chest and, hopefully, out of my mind so that I can then move on to the next subject, the next thought that might have the potential to change the world.

No telling how much or how often I will write, but I hope it is lots and often.  I hope that this blog will be therapeutic for me, entertaining for you and thought provoking for both of us.

Happy Second Day of the New Year!!